New stuff, old me!

Hello everyone! ^^

                  I know there have been years i don't show up here, but time to time I need to come and write something! I'm not into a good mood today, but even though i wanna say something about what's going on lately in my life!
                So many things have changed! I finally meet a some new people (and they're very crazy, and funny and cute!). I am now the "manager" of a cosplay group from slipknot called "Sickness RJ" and when we're together rehearsing it's sooooo funny! I love it too much! They are like therapy for me, they me make me laugh, the make me feel really good, they became like drugs to me, because I'm very addicted to all of them.
                In that group there are some guys I'd like to be a closer friend, but i must say it's hard to get closer to them... I think they're not used to have a female friend as a good/best friend... =/ Well you know... at same time they make me feel good, they make me feel bad... Some feelings come up and i don't like to feel those feelings again...
                Anyway! Despite all of that, in my house keep being like hell... The problems just get worst x.x Sometime I just don't think i can handle with everything, I disappear from world and hide myself until I can cry enough to make me feel renewed... To forget it i just study like there's no tomorrow! Sometimes, just sometimes, i'd like to have a boyfriend to support me on those hard moments... But how i do not have anyone, and anyone look at me... That is something i must learn alone how to deal with.
                 Well, about self-esteem i keep the thoughts I'm ugly, a bored person and all the usual bla bla bla from someone who doesn't like herself. I must confess that sometimes i do get revolted, because i know I'm ugly, but not THAT UGLY but the guys keep not looking to me... And even I' m being so lively, i don't have courage enough to flirt with anyone... Say what you want... Guys just want bodies... I'm fat and they never look to me! Just girls and women... I should have birthed lesbian or bisexual, you know? o.õ
                 I know i won't get a boyfriend until the day i get thin... But to improve all my problems, my hormonal disease makes me have a really slow metabolism, my body just refuse to burn fat! Cool, isn't it? 8D! ¬¬" No way! I might live alone my whole life you know? Bad luck as always x.x  But... hm...to tell you the truth, i reckon it won't be good to have a boyfriend... I have too many problems in my life, I cannot bring anyone to my house... It's prohibited and if you go to your boyfriend's house you're seeing like a whore... x.x Oh! Society! How i hate you! =)  Yeah i might live my life alone! x.x
                 I must go now! Need to wake up ate 5:20 Am and It's 1:40 AM!
I'm leaving here a dance music video:


And just for the record! I'm crazy for rock music, but i do love K-pop! =)

YAY!!! A NEW LIFE FOR SURE!

Hello everybody!!! \o/

• I've tried to get a good picture to show something about what I'm gonna write here, but I didn't find anything that could fit, so today no picture =/
• On the other post I've said that i decided to be happy and live my life, right? So! Here I am doing it! HAUAHAUAH =P I started it about a week ago, while I was watching a documentary about musical films and that open my eyes in some way...
• I decided to do just what make me happy, just what i love, just what make me feel awesome, and started to give value to myself! \o/ Stop being sad with others opinion, live every second intensely...I'm felling much better right now, enjoying everything! *--* It's really another life!
• And for sure I've made my decisions! I'm gonna work out, do a singing course, maybe a guitar course too,  start to look for trainees and next semester start a new language course! Today I arranged to next Monday to meet my singer teacher ^^, Friday or Monday start the gym!
• Even my healthy being ok, I need to lose weight because I can't find clothes to fit me, There is a little problem on both of mine ankles which all the overweight it's increasing the pain while I walk, so... time to get thin!
• Today I'm with 110 kg! XD My first aim gonna be to weight 90 kg! I' rather do short aims than longer because on this way I can see the result, and got calm... different when I go to the doctor and he/she says : you'll need to weight 55, so do this and that to get it! And then I started to get nervous because I'm not seeing any difference, I'm not losing weight easily, because I have hypothyroidism and then I give up xD So is better one step at a time! \o/
• I don't know when I'm gonna post here again, but on the next post I promise a photo of mine^^
• Kisses to you all and see ya! =**
• Listen to : Unaddicted - Emily Osment
  
  

Let's change! ;D

• Today I woke up a little bit different!
  
• To tell you the truth I woke up with an enormous will to change everything around me! I don't know from where that force came, but it's NOW with me!
• I'm all the time saying:"How I'd like to do this", "How I'd like to do that"," My life could be different", "I'd like to speak and be like her" and so on... Man! It's so easy complain about everything and don't move a finger to change anything! It's so easy stay locked in your room totally depressed figuring out how you'd like your life were... You need to woke up! You need to stand up and say to yourself: I'M GONNA CHANGE AND I'M GONNA START RIGHT NOW! I WANT A DIFFERENT LIFE SO LET'S MOVE! For me this is the hardest step and the very first one.
• Today I woke up like this, made in my mind a short list of what i want to change, what i need to do and have already started! My first change gonna be stop to be so sedentary and start to lose weight!
  
• Yeeeeaaaah! I'm very overweight, too much XD a real obese! I'm not Joking! I'm weight 96 kg with 1,68m! See? So I associated on a club and there I'll dance, work out and play Volley! I know that it's a hard and loooooong way, much more for me 'cause one of my problems to be overweight it's hormonal so it's really hard lose weight, but losing just 3 or 4 kg per month will be good I just CAN'T give up! And don't worry I'll start to do all of it with doctor accompaniment.
• My second change it's start to improve my English! I've been doing an English course for 3 years and half until now and my writing it's not so good, because of it on writing tests my grade ever decrease >.<>
• Well let's call it a day? ;D hauahuahauh For today it is!
• Ps.: My Englih course teach us British English, but when have some difference of American English to british they teach us too!
  
• Ps.2:I think I'm writting this just for me, and have to confess that I don't expect comments... If when I access this again have something you don't know how I will be happy! =P
• xxx to everyone! ^__^