New stuff, old me!

Hello everyone! ^^

                  I know there have been years i don't show up here, but time to time I need to come and write something! I'm not into a good mood today, but even though i wanna say something about what's going on lately in my life!
                So many things have changed! I finally meet a some new people (and they're very crazy, and funny and cute!). I am now the "manager" of a cosplay group from slipknot called "Sickness RJ" and when we're together rehearsing it's sooooo funny! I love it too much! They are like therapy for me, they me make me laugh, the make me feel really good, they became like drugs to me, because I'm very addicted to all of them.
                In that group there are some guys I'd like to be a closer friend, but i must say it's hard to get closer to them... I think they're not used to have a female friend as a good/best friend... =/ Well you know... at same time they make me feel good, they make me feel bad... Some feelings come up and i don't like to feel those feelings again...
                Anyway! Despite all of that, in my house keep being like hell... The problems just get worst x.x Sometime I just don't think i can handle with everything, I disappear from world and hide myself until I can cry enough to make me feel renewed... To forget it i just study like there's no tomorrow! Sometimes, just sometimes, i'd like to have a boyfriend to support me on those hard moments... But how i do not have anyone, and anyone look at me... That is something i must learn alone how to deal with.
                 Well, about self-esteem i keep the thoughts I'm ugly, a bored person and all the usual bla bla bla from someone who doesn't like herself. I must confess that sometimes i do get revolted, because i know I'm ugly, but not THAT UGLY but the guys keep not looking to me... And even I' m being so lively, i don't have courage enough to flirt with anyone... Say what you want... Guys just want bodies... I'm fat and they never look to me! Just girls and women... I should have birthed lesbian or bisexual, you know? o.õ
                 I know i won't get a boyfriend until the day i get thin... But to improve all my problems, my hormonal disease makes me have a really slow metabolism, my body just refuse to burn fat! Cool, isn't it? 8D! ¬¬" No way! I might live alone my whole life you know? Bad luck as always x.x  But... hm...to tell you the truth, i reckon it won't be good to have a boyfriend... I have too many problems in my life, I cannot bring anyone to my house... It's prohibited and if you go to your boyfriend's house you're seeing like a whore... x.x Oh! Society! How i hate you! =)  Yeah i might live my life alone! x.x
                 I must go now! Need to wake up ate 5:20 Am and It's 1:40 AM!
I'm leaving here a dance music video:


And just for the record! I'm crazy for rock music, but i do love K-pop! =)

I must have done something good =)

“Perhaps I had a wicked childhood
Perhaps I had a miserable youth
but somewhere in my wicked miserable past
there must’ve be a moment of truth
…
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good

Nothing comes from nothing
Nothing ever could

So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good” Something Good – Sound of Music

This lyrics is marvelous, isn’t it? I’m crazy for SM Soundtrack! I love this film since the first time I watched it, which was when I was 3 or 4 years old! As far as I remember there are some memories in my mind of myself singing “Do Re Mi”, Favourite Things” and “singing in the rain” ( the last one from the film singing in the rain) to my grandma while I was talking to her on the telephone. Nowadays I finally found the SM soundtrack CD selling and I bought it! *-*
All their lyrics and rhythms are very beautiful and sweet. I’m crazy for musicals and Broadway!
Sing+Dance+Act = My happiness!
Anyway, I didn’t come here to talk about those! I came to talk about good things which are happening to me! =)
Here in my house keep being like living in the hell, but still there’s hope in me that things will get better… At least I’m having fun with my friends, silly stuff but even though very funny!
I have the sensation that things are changing! And at the same time I’m happy and anxious... I’m a little bit afraid of. Changes always scare me a bit… You don’t know if they will be good or bad…You just know they are gonna be different… =S
I loved see my childhood’s friend Vic¹ some days ago! There are 13 years of friendship! YEAH! We’re together since 2000! *-* Every time we’re together something unusual happens! I wish we were friends until we get old. =D
Well, to end I’d like to say just one more thing: I hope so much in the future be able to sing that lyrics above… I want things getting marvelous to me after all these 15 years of suffering…
I’m still a kid who dreams very high, who dreams with impossible things…
But as Audrey Hepburn said once: Nothing is impossible the word itself says “I’m possible”

*-* Bye Bye! =)

1- I’m the only one who calls him like that! Hehehe! His name is Victor! J.Victor! =)
2- Yeah! I’ve decided to come back write in English because I need to practice! In April is gonna be 1 year I’ve finished my English course and if I don’t practice I’ll forget everything I’ve learnt on those 5 years and 4 months! =S

I’m Brazilian and NEVER GIVE UP!

A beautiful song with marvelous lyrics: Time of your life – Lovex <3

2012 - O ano do Dragão

E again mais um ano se incia...
O meu ano passado foi terrível! Começou ruinzinho, pareceu que iria melhorar e depois só piorou de vez! O finzinho que salvou =). Contudo sou adepta que qualquer experiência é válida, seja ela ruim ou boa.Então irei considerar o ano passado como um ano de amadurecimento.
Mudei muito meu ponto de vista sobre as coisas, aprendi e descobri quem são e como são os amigos fiéis, aprendi que se você quer mudar tal mudança tem que ser para você e não em função dos outros, que não sou infantil (apenas possuo meu lado criança/teen vivo), que eu tenho capacidade SIM e tenho que começar a acreditar mais em mim, passei a ser mais reponsável na faculdade... Dentre muitas outras coisas.
Esse ano comecei esperançosa, fiz todas as simpatias e surpertições que acredito (sempre super superticiosa), e ja comecei deixando o passado todo para trás! Fiz uma limpeza nas minhas redes sociais, apaguei depoimentos e notas, bloque-ei pessoas... Não quero mais contato, não quero mais saber! Afinal como ja escutei muito:
"O passado não se muda, o presente a gente vive e o futuro a gente inventa!" Tenho planos e metas na minha mente para conseguir cumprir tudo que desejo para este ano! Não fiz uma lista de "coisas a se realizar em 2012"! Possuo em minha mente alguns planos antigos e algumas metas, não me incomodo do quão lento seja meu processo para alcança-las desde que eu consiga seguir o caminho certo para tê-las e realiza-las.
Estou muito positiva para esse ano, acho que finalmente certas coisas irão dar certo. ;D
Ah! Também estou um pouco mais religiosa. Estou rezando mais, agradecendo pelas experiências más e ruins e pedindo proteção. Vou te dizer! Isso anda funcionando! =)
Enfim! Esse ano, se deus quiser, será um ano maravilhoso! Espero que não só para mim como para você que estiver lendo isso.

P.S.: Vou deixar aqui uma banda nova que conheci =) Eles estão começando agora e só possuem 2 músicas, mas são muitos bons! Adoro pegar bandas no incinho porque os integrantes conseguem conversar com os fãs e dão mais atenção a eles. =)
Consegui conversar com o Petri e o Otto! *-* Uns amores gente!

Superscar! Finlandeses!






Obs.: Sempre serei fã de bandas e músicos. Isso não me faz infantil, mas faz ser eu.
Música é minha religião é no que acredito e é o que me faz bem e me acompanha desde criança. Sempre darei mais importância a música do a qualquer outra coisa nesse mundo. Música é o que limpa a alma, me salva de suícidios!
Não entendo porque as pessoas não aceitam essa minha paiXão música! Cada um com sua paixão! A minha é MÚSICA.